In which Dr. Sadaqat Ali has very thoroughly described the importance of the drug addict’s family in their treatment and their important action.
He says:
You have to provide leadership to bring about change in any organization, or to change a country, or to change the life of someone who is intoxicated. It has to be through guidance. Likewise in the home when someone is suffering from a drug problem or intoxication, he needs guidance. That is provided by family. It is imperative that the leadership be genuine and authentic only if the matter is made. Leadership can be provided in both good and bad work, but the principles remain almost the same. For example, if the CEO of an organization provides leadership to its subordinates, then outside a group of robbers, it will also have a leader who will provide leadership to his group. Whenever a leader provides leadership, it is important to be authentic and there should be no contradiction in what they say and do. This does not mean that he should say the words, his words may be wrong, but whatever he says, his actions should be in the same line. If someone says negative things, then his actions should go towards him. These are signs of leadership. That is why some people who do wrong and right do so, some succeed and some fail.
In the home of Abraham Maslow, a lovable victim fell victim to drugs for a few years and continued to use stealth drugs until his family found out. And then one day his crack exploded and his family found out that he was intoxicated, his conditions were bad, his business was destroyed, and his grades were low. And after hearing this idol, the Resurrection is passed on to the family. And two such emotions emerge within their family – first grief and second anger. And when we are in anguish, our brains don’t work very well with our intelligence. And we think we will get it back on the straight path. We feel like our inward energy. And on the other hand, we feel too much of ourselves inside ourselves. It seems to us that if we tell anyone, it is a shame we will take it straight on ourselves. And when he talks to his beloved on the subject, he shows good and good intentions. So the families are very happy they set their hopes but as soon as they break all these promises that are about to be broken, the families get very angry and their morale is mixed with dust and they This is called bad enough and some things come out of their mouths, which they later get a little offended and later pay some price on. And this series keeps going.
There are some authentic behaviors that are recognized worldwide that we call best practices. They are repeated again and again in different countries of the world, and they are tested again successfully and find that certain behaviors always yield 100% results and these behaviors occur in every field. For example, when assistants are inserted in the heart, the same method is used around the world by which bypasses are also made and stunts are inserted in the heart, which is a best practice. Which is done in the same way all over the world.
Best practices have also surfaced in addiction and recovery from alcoholism, and among those authoritative behaviors that are said that the family should adopt, the first is that the family is told that the patient is addicted to his or her addiction. The family wants to suffer the negative consequences of the patient’s addiction. It should not be that the addicts continue to enjoy the drug, while the negative consequences are bared by family. Because in this way the patient will never know that what he is intoxicating is actually a bad thing. And if the family does not adopt this authoritative attitude, it is difficult for the patient to understand that the harm he/she uses to the drug is immense.
The second best practice is to see wherever you go wrong, then raise your voice on the right forum. This does not mean you should name your patient but also come out of fear that he will be a bad name because he has to be a bad name and has to be his own. You must not defame anyone or protect yourself from reproach because the natural consequences of using drugs are that you allow your patient to suffer. Because if someone has to suffer from the use of drugs, then he is the one who has enjoyed it so that he can believe that this disease is not only fun and it is also a lot of trouble and he has to have these two scales of scales. Must have the opportunity to see that the disease can be fun if the pain is even greater. For example, there is no doubt that if a drunk patient comes home at night after falling intoxicated and goes to the bathroom and is vomiting, his mother in the family or his sisters or His wife cannot bear to see him in this state, and they go not only to cleanse his spreading odor but also to put him on a bed in clean clothes. And when he woke up the next day, he remembered nothing about how he had fallen and how he had reached his bed. How can the patient be expected to change his attitude or be unhappy with what he has done in this situation? But on the contrary, if the consequences of their own actions are self-inflicted and if they are not supported indirectly, there is a possibility that they will be unhappy with their own actions. The best-case scenario is that the sooner you create an intoxicated patient the awareness that he or she is headed for destruction, the sooner they will want to go into treatment, and the better the results will be.
The stance of the family defaulter is because the patient is fighting a war in which he is using four types of tactics that the family considers himself defaulter.
1. It’s all your fault You didn’t love me as a kid You abused me. My siblings and I have been given these privileges and I did not get these things on occasion so that is why you are really guilty. And when he talks to the family over and over again, the family feels guilt.
2. The second tactic the patient uses is ‘I am helpless’. I was left behind reading my sister and brother. I am the father of two children of my age and I have not been married yet. And the family also goes into gilt that it couldn’t possibly read because of our own ignorance. In the case of Abbas, the color of the patient is worsened by his clothes because of his own illness, which is drug addiction, and the family thinks that it is because of our mistake that the punishment is going on.
3. The thing that he does is threats. He threatens his family on every little thing that if I try to stop my coworker, then I see what I would do if I left home or I’ll do myself some harm. He shows it with a cut on his arm, does little harm to himself, and shows that if he did this to me or did not take anything I wanted, then I would hurt myself. And then, with so much rubbish, he puts on an ointment and says, “I tell you I’ve decided to quit the drug soon, and the stars start shining in front of the family’s eyes, and they say happily.” See that he has decided that he will quit the drug. He has said the thing that connected our aspirations. At the same time, he starts a pharmacy program that will give up the drug if it is currently paid for Rs 25,000. And the family also fulfills his orders by not having flowers in such a happy moment.
The fourth method is that patients mold their own families in such a way that they continue to take drugs. And then it happens that the patient continues to get intoxicated at home and he tells the family to give me a certain amount of his own custom with his own hands. And thus I would do drugs in front of you at home and I would not have to go outside. And often householders are willing to accept this because of their innocence, and the issue worsens.
These are just a few of the behaviors that parents need to understand, if they have a problem and feel reluctant to go to a psychologist for a moment, then it is worthwhile to stay in the 21st century. If you write your problem on Google instead of crying out in isolation, you are hopeful that a piece of information settles in front of you and you see light across the tunnel. The main reason is that you want to bring about a positive change in your life and you do not have to worry about it but you need to take some strong steps.
Written by Hafsa Shahid (Clinical Psychologist)
Thoughts: Dr. Sadaqat Ali