We need to assess our problem and stop behaviors that do not work, start new behaviors, and develop a supportive network. It is tough being a parent and admitting that you don’t know what to do, tough to give up shame, guilt, and blame, but tough love works. By changing our behavior, we will regain control and achieve our goals. The main key to success and authority is enforcement. Without enforcement, a family operates under rules that leave room for children to grab the authority.
We need to stop saying yes and instead learn to create safe and enforceable limits by saying no with real love. Tough love parents learn to make small weekly changes using the stand, bottom lines, plans, and support program. Taking stands and setting bottom lines work. A stand is a long-term goal you want to reach, one that can take some time to accomplish. The bottom lines are the small action steps you will take for one week as a means through which to reach your stands.